Finding Peace
by Werewolfs-team
Summary: Did you ever felt the need to escape? Did you ever felt like you needed a new beginning? Well, I feel like this everyday. I am broken, I am weak but I will fight for my inner peace. I will fight for my rise and when I will be whole again, i will keep on fighting for those who do not have strenght of their own.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Here I stand before all society. Before my parents. this one minute will draw my future and if I make the wrong choice… Well, basically I have to deal with it. I see my parents in the front row. They are smiling. How could they be so proud of me when they know that I will never choose Abnegation. I will never see them again. I can feel my heart aching for them. I want to stay with them, I really want but Abnegation doesn't feel like home… So I made my choice.

I let the blood drip in the dauntless bowl and breath.

-Dauntless !

Cheers errupt in the room, but all I see are the eyes of my mother. Full of tears and full of Happiness.

-I Love you, she mouthed.

I nod and then went of of the stage to join my new faction. My new family.

**Okay, it IS short, but I promise my chapters will be longer. I just want you all to know that this is my first English fanfiction so their will be errors of grammar, but I am doing my best. thanks very much!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter One

Running. I felt my muscle awake while we ran through the stairs. Alive, I feel so Alive. The feeling of running in unity with the other Dauntless is breath taking.

-Enjoying yourself, Abnegation ? Asked someone.

I look at my left and see a boy the same age as me. he's tall, dark skin and has the most contagious smile i've never seen. I can,t help but to smile back at him.

-I'm Kimberly hale, I said.

-Amadi, he said.

I nod and focus on the others before me. they stopped at the bottom of the trains track. Amadi, funny name. I should ask him what it means lately.

-Come on Kimberly, climb ! yelled Amadi from the top of the tracks.

Stop zoning out Kim or you'll never make it. I start to climb, but stoped at mid way. I Heard the trains horn. Shoot ! I climb faster, trying hard to catch the train.

-Come on kim, you can do this ! yelled Amadi.

I can't hear him anymore. All I hear is the pulse of my running heart. I have to make it, I have to make it. Finally I'm on the top, but the trains is almost gone.

-Run !

I follow Amadi's lead and run after the train. Quickly, he jumps on the train. i feel my tight's muscle trembling. I can do this. I run faster and finally I can get a hold of the train.

-On the count of three !

I look at Amadi. he is holdinh onto my hand.

-One… two… THREE !

I propel myself with all my might and made it. I landed in the back of the car panting like crazy. I look at Amadi. He start laughing like he is insane and I can,t stop but laugh with him. Wow, what a trill !

Amadi sat beside me and rest his head on the car's wall.

-You are a good runner.

-thanks, I said immitating his position.

We didn,t talk much after that. I take on my surrondings and see that we are only six transfers. I shouldn't be suprised. After the war, things got pretty messed up in Dauntless. They had to gain the trust of the other factions and it wasn't easy, but eventually they got their trust. It's been three years now and everything is fine.

-What is the meaning of your name ? I ask to Amadi.

He looks right before him admiring the view of the city.

-It means Free man, he says smiling. This is why I got this tatoo.

He lift the sleeve of his black shirt and point at his forearm. There is an open cage and a bird flying out of the cage. I can't help myself to touch it and feel the embossed design of his forearm.

-It is so beautiful, I said smiling at him.

He nod and we went back to looking outside.

Some times later, Amadi got up.

-We need to jump, we've arrived, he says heading to the open door of the train.

I follow him like the other transfered. Amadi Jumped and then I jumped with a bit of difficulty but I managed to survive. We were on the top of an old building.

-Over here initiates ! Shouted someone.

We began to gather.

-Faster!

I push through the crowd to see who was talking. It was a man. A young and a muscular man. The kind of man you don't mess with. He was a bit scary with his piercing in the eyebrow and his tattoos on the neck.

-Welcome to dauntless, he said looking at us. I am Eric. I will be the trainer of the transfer's ones. In Dauntless we value courage more than anything else and the entry is right here…

He looks behind him. Oh… we have to jump.

-Who will jump first? He asks.

Nobody moves. I slowly raise my hand and make my way to the front.

-Oh how nice of you to volunteer, he says sarcastically. A stiff nothing less…

I hear people laughing, but I do not reply, even if it hurts a bit. I go on the ledge. It is pretty dark down there. I take a deep breath, and then jump. free, I feel free. I hear nothing but the wind and feel nothing but the fast beating of my heart. Sadly, it is not long before I hit a net. I look around and see a young man trying to help me off the net.

-What,s your name initiate? he asks when I am on foot again.

-Um… Kim, I say.

-First Jumper, Kim! He screams.

Everybody claps and I can help to feel proud. The young man looks back at me and smiles.

-My name's Four. Welcome to your new home.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Two

I am not with Amadi in the dorm because he is Dauntless born, but other then that I feel happy. I met this girl whose name is Amalia. She is from Amity. She's pretty nice and genuinely gentle.

-You don't eat, asks Amalia.

I look at her to see that she looks worried. I look at my untouched food and get a bit nervous.

-Yeah um… I was just lost in my thoughts, I say smiling.

She nods and return to her conversation with a boy named George I think. I start to eat a bit of my steak and my potatoes.

-I heard we could get tattoos whenever we wanted, said a boy I don't recognize.

-Yeah, I will probably get one tomorrow, says another girl.

Maybe I should get one too, after all I am Dauntless now. I stop listening to their conversation and look at my surroundings. Everybody seems so happy and outgoing it is warming me up a lot. My eyes cross the gaze of a pair of green and grey eyes. An intense look is in them. I realize it is Eric looking in my direction. I don't really feel comfortable, knowing he was watching me. I look away feeling my stomach twisting. I push my plate, all appetite lost.

-I'll see you later Lia, I say in her ear.

She looks at me, hesitating a bit, but finally nods. I left the cafeteria, but not before gazing at Eric's table. He was looking at me too. I drop my gaze to the floor and left fast. A shiver ran through my spine. Flash backs coming in my mind. Feeling of fear resurge and I feel sweat on my forehead. I head to the dorm and run to the bathroom. Luckily there is nobody here. I kneel before the toilet and thrust my finger in my throat. I vomit my dinner. I can't get those flashbacks off of my mind. Images of hands running down my body, grabbing my ass, touching my breast. I can't stop vomiting; it's at a point that bile is coming out of my stomach. Suddenly I feel hands on my back, comforting me.

-hey sweetie, it's okay. I'm right here, said Amalia.

I didn't realize that I was crying. Finally I stop throwing up and sit effortlessly with my head on the toilet. Amalia hug me, while I cry. She says comforting things and doesn't let me go until I finally stop crying.

Take a deep breath Kim. It is okay, nobody is going to hurt you.

-You are not obligated to tell me what is wrong you know, she says. But know that I am here to listen.

I nod and sigh.

-I just need some sleep, I say while getting up. I think I am just stressed out for tomorrow.

-Okay, she says.

I go to my bed next to hers and sit to take of my shoes. I take off my clothes to and put a big black t-shirt. I slip under my covers and close my eyes. just breath, don't think.

-Wake Up initiate!

I open my eyes wide and get up, surprised.

-Training begins in an hour, says Eric at the door, you need to be in class at eight. If you are late, you will regret it.

Our gaze cross and I feel heat in my cheeks as he scans my body.

-better hurry up, he says before living.

-Jerk, I heard Amalia whisper.

I can help myself to chuckle.

-Today, we will practice throwing knifes, says Eric while pacing in front of us. It is important for a good soldier to be focus and alert and that is exactly what throwing knifes helps us to develop.

he stops pacing and face us.

-Well don't just look at me, throw some knifes!

Everybody moves and take some knifes. I position myself before the target and lift the knife in my hand. Focus, it is the key. I throw my knife but it hit the floor. Okay, it's just the first time, try again. Five minutes later, I haven't hit the target yet. I sigh in frustration.

-You are too stiff, murmured a warm voice in my ear.

I didn't have the time to react and felt a hand on my shoulders. Instantly, I felt my heartbeat pick up.

-You need to be strong, but relax, he insist, it has to come naturally.

he positioned my arm at the level of my shoulder.

-Now throw.

I throw the knife and it hit the center. I can't help to smile like an idiot and laugh.

-Thank you, I say turning to face him.

He has an emotionless face, but nod anyway and return to watch the others. I face my target but spot Amalia looking at me with malice.

-What? I ask.

-Oh nothing, she says facing her target.

I smile a bit and return to my task. Strangely, I did not panic when Eric touched me. Normally I don't like when men touch me, but his touch was so warm and gentle.

-Hey Abnegation!

I snap out of my thought and look at who talked to me.

-It's lunch time, says Amalia. You're coming?

-Um... I'll stay a bit longer to practice, I'll catch up later.

-Well okay, she says.

She follows everybody else and I am left on my own… well this is what I thought.

-Not hungry?

I look at Eric who has his arms cross against his chest.

-Not really, I say. I don't eat a lot.

-Yeah I noticed.

I nod observing him a bit. He is quit gorgeous, I have to admit.

-So why are you still here? He asks while approaching me.

-I wanted to practice a bit.

He stops right in front of me. he is tall to, like I have to break my neck to look at his face.

-Go ahead then.

I take a knife and position me properly, like he taught me.

-No! He shouts.

-What? I ask

-Your feet are too far from each other, you will not have enough strength.

He approaches me, places his hands on my waist and positions them properly.

-Like that, he whispered in my ear.

My breathing picks up and heat takes my body. I can feel his whole body pressed against mine and it feels… good. Yeah, pretty good.

-And then I throw?

-Yeah, he whispers.

I throw the knife and I don't even know where it hits because I am focused on Eric's lips that just brushed against my neck. My breath got caught up in my throat and a shiver ran down my spine.

-Eric, I needed to… Wow!

I push him off of me and look at the intruder panicked. It was Four.

-What?! Eric asks coldly.

-I, um… it can wait, says Four looking at me confused.

-yeah, well you know the way out, says Eric.

Four hesitates, but, at last, decides to live us alone. When he's gone, Eric sighs and looks at me.

-I… need to go, I say while walking to the door.

-No wait!

He got a hold of my arm and spins me around.

-I said I needed to go, okay? Let go of my arm!

-You can't live like that, He argued.

He was clamping my arm and it hurts a bit. I began to panic.

-We could finish what we began, he said suggestively while caressing my neck.

-No please, I beg, I don't want to…

Even if I tried hard, I wasn't able to hold back the tears. Flashbacks were coming at a fast paste. Hands were under my shirt, under my skirt. Hands were clutching my breasts and my bottom. I couldn't breathe properly. I tried to push Eric's body away from mine, but he was to strong.

-I said no, please… not again!

I couldn't recognize my voice. It was tinted with fear and desperation.

-Hey, no need to panic…

I look in his eyes and saw concerned.

-I am not forcing you, if you don't want to...

I didn't know what to do. He looked concerned about me but… I averted my eyes from his.

-Just… let me go… please.

He did what I said, but I could feel his gaze on me. I stepped back, massaging my wrist. My breath was heavy.

-Kim, what's going on…?

-I have to go.

I left the room without looking at him. I needed air, right now. I ran and ran, not knowing where I was going. I found myself in the Chasm. No one was there because nobody ever comes here to chill out. It is a pretty dangerous place with those rapid water and those sharp rocks. But the sound of the waves crashing on rocks calmed me instantly. I sat on the bridge, feet hanging freely. I thought of what just happened. I wasn't scared of Eric. It's just that he looks a lot like Garrett. He is tall, muscular and he has a deep voice. When he whispered in my ear… I just panicked.

I sigh and close my eyes.

-Here you are.

I looked at my right and saw Amalia. She was carrying a plate with food. She sat next to me and offered me the plate.

-I thought you would like some, she said.

I nodded and took the plate. I ate in silence.

-What is wrong with you?

I looked at her. She wasn't asking if I was upset. She knew that I was messed up, she just didn't know why. I began to feel uncomfortable and looked away from her.

-It is not mean, she said, I… I'm just worried about you. You need to clear your head for initiation, Kim. Or else… you may not make it.

I put the plate down and sigh.

-I know, I said pressing my palms in my face. I just… It is hard, okay?

-I know.

She sighed.

-Just let me know when you're ready to clear that head of yours, she said while getting up. Training will begin shortly. Come on.


End file.
